Oh, my dear Alfie!

What’s a stick-thin, tanned, knock-kneed, underpants-wearing, sofa-sleeping, football-loving madman?

That’s my brother.

Lately, I’ve been thinking: maybe he's weird. So I've been observing him.

And all I can see is:

Morning: wake up, wear underpants, sit in front of the TV with a blanket. Then turn on the TV. Right to football channel.

Afternoon: Sister/big sister/father asked for the remote. Refused to give in. watch more football until evening. Oh yes! I forgot. Go and play football with friends.

Evening; Watch more football. Somebody asked for the remote, again. Refused, watch more TV—Transformers(1984 version). Throw a tantrum if people ask for remote.

Night: Watch more football until mom starts nagging. Go to bedroom and slam door.

Late night: Mom leaves and TV is empty. Watch more football.

Strangely, this seems to happen everyday. Football, TV, in blankie and underpants. Doesn’t he have a life? Ah, soooo….annoying! always in his underpants, and nobody likes to see his stick-thin legs. Complains of being cold, so he need to sleep in a camping’s sleeping bag. Maybe he need to realise that he turn on the fan full-speed everyday. And yes, he hardly bathes. Let alone pray to god. Or doing his maths homework.

Everyone is at wit’s end with him. Yes, we know he loves Chelsea, but why does he have to watch EVERY SINGLE match of EPL, SERIE A, EUROPE CHAMPIONS LEAGUE, plus F1, F3 AND MOTORSPORTS?? Or watch the one-hour match review AFTER watching the match itself? That’s just 30 plus of slow-mos of every single (usually ONLY single goal) of the match. God knows if he could understand the deep British accent of the EPL commentators…he can’t even understand proper English!

And what’s with the tantrum? You are 14 for god’s sake! Throwing a tantrum to the person who paid the pay TV bill…that’s asking for trouble, little boy. Let alone banning other people form watching TV.

I tried blocking the football channel once, with the kid-lock system, but I deactivated it before he even notices. No, it wasn’t pity, it was more of…fear. I remembered once I refused him watching Football TV at 2am because I wanted some reading time for myself…he sprayed me with bug-spray, kicked my CD collection, throw torn newspapers all over me while I’m reading, and torn my sister’s magazine into pieces (what does SHE had to do with this?). Then he gave me those hreatening I KILL YOU look while pacing around me for around 1 hour.

That’s psychotic.

And we have TWO TVs for god’s sake! Why can’t he go downstairs and watch there?

And what’s with the underpants! God! Wear something!