Friday, September 29, 2006

Daddy Cool

That's it.
Come to think of it, I'm really a double agent in my family.

With mom (and the psychic) I say "Yeah, Your'e right!" and with dad, I say "Isn't mom, like, wrong?"

In this house, only dad and I disagree openly about mom's decision to invite the psychic to excorcise my house.

But I think we just got another supporter: my little sis. She's half-half in this thing, especially when the psychic knew she had a back pain without even looking. But last night, as mom dad, my sis and I had our dinner, we all joke about mom and the psychic (poor mom).

I said: "Can we postpone the visit after Ramadhan month?.. because in Ramadan month it is a sacred, pure month. They say in Ramadhan all the evil in the world (devils and well, kyuubis)disappear and get locked up behind the gates of Hell. So ther'es no point in excorcising something that wasn't there."

Dad: "I so agree. If we do it now, then after Ramadhan it'll come back to us. No point there!"
Mom:"So I need to tell the psychic that my husband and my daughter said..."
Me and dad:"Don't say that! Then the psychic will think that we're against him (well, we are)!
Dad: "Then, the psychic will be saying 'Oh no! your husband has turn evil!!! He's the most posessed of them all. We need to excorcise him now...."

The way dad said that was very funny, that I laughed my head off, so does my sis. Then my sis and I play the justsus of Naruto (I thought she hated Naruto. She told me that yesterday)
Mom looked very upset with us. Poor mom...

And I don't know what went on after that, but it comes to the point that dad is making a mimicry of the Justice league (yes, he's 49, and still watching it everyday, including "The Adventures of Superman", and he watches it before dinner and he could explain to me all the people in justice league when I was still confusing them with the Teen Titans). Dad was making an imitation of a superpower, and I was making a Naruto joke on his Chakra (not the Kyuubi thing, then mom'll think I'm crazy). And we all tell each other how cool it is to have a superpower....

Anyway, today dad packed up a pair of gardening gloves, my washing bucket from college last year, black plastic bags and some newspaper. He's with some old guy, going on a trip out of town. For what? To find the "soil" for the excorsim ceremony. The psychic said to bring in five buckets.(probably for all five of the excorsised, US.)

Okay, Now he's coming and I really like to hide all my porn-like manga....

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Of Naru and the White Sandals

Yep, I did not sleep this morning, and I slept at class instead, until the lecturer looked at me like I�ve been offending him somehow (I guess I did). So, I went to the psychic�s house as instructed. Well, it�s not actually a house, (amazingly) a shoplot near the mall.

When I got in there he wasn�t there. I guess that�s because we came one hour too early. But then again, he kept miscalling mom over and over agin although it is clear to everyone that we�re already sitting comfortably on the sofa of the waiting area! Mom promised me that I could just sit in the car, but I took a chance to wait while watching TV at the waiting area.

Then as I watched some afternoon soap opera (not that I liked it), This huge shadow obscured the TV. I looked up, and I saw this guy, all white; white shirts, white pants, and white sandals. My instincts tell me that he was the psychic. Well, I was right. He was talking on the phone and went like, Oh teacher (to my mom), I didn�t know you�d come so fast!

Mom urged me to follow her and the psychic to �the room� for �scanning�. What the hell�? I gave her all sorts of excuses until she gave me that weird tone of �Oh, why don�t you wanna go?� I said I don�t care and I�d like to watch the TV. But then again, Iat occasional intervals I moved from the sofa to the side of the room, to eavesdrop. Not much did I found out, all I heard was mom spilling dad�s affair to the fat man psychic. And I swore the rag doll on the side of the door, beside me while I eavesdrop, looked weird�

The, after like one and a half hours, mom came out, bumped with me who was still eavesdropping. She looked really absent-minded and went like, �Let�s go�. And then we went shopping (I guess a women�s mind is like that).

But I knew mom would talk.

You know what the psychic said about us? He said I got Saqa. That�s an Arabic word, as I found out from a leaflet in the shop. You know what Saqa is? You know, like a �being� residing in someone�s body. You know, like mythical creatures. Like, cuz when I was 29 days old, I was sent to granny�s house and I cried for three days non-stop. Mom said �it� came at that time and resided in me. Bleeergh!

Hey, come to think of it, it sound�s like Naruto, dosen�t it? That Kyuubi thing inside his body�like resided when he was a little baby, and doesn�t wanna come out.

Well, I thought Naruto was fiction.

No way! You�re kidding me!

When I said that to mom, she said. �Why do you say that? I hate you! I hate you!� She sounded like so weird�well, mom, I wanted to believe, but�Kyuubi?? What the�?

The psychic said that this �thing� resides in the female desendants of the family. It came from our grandpa (I knew that, but that�s a long story and I thought it was a legend). Then the thing resides in all the female descendants, my aunties and mom (all four) and now�all three sisters of the Shinrei�s family.

Consider ourselves charmed.

Now the psychic told us that it resides in the female body. If I stays there, it brings bad luck, and all love relationships of the person is going to suffer (what a jealous type)�and giving its host premenstrual cramps and back pain. And he said, �did  any one of you had back pain, mostly near the waist; and menstrual cramps?�

And mom was like, �How did you know? My girl at the waiting room there�she has back pain! And another�has menstrual cramps!�

My little sis, who has been with me at the waiting room, practically freaked out. Yes, she has back pain, particularly in the waist area, but it was barely a few days old! Just recently�how did he know?

Me? Menstrual cramps? Well, yeah, just three days ago, too. But nothing that I couldn�t cure with Panadols and hot water. Seriously! From my conversation with friends, they all have cramps too, but they rather cry and take a day off than eating Panadols like me (well, I don�t take days off. That�s lazing around). What�s with the cramps, psychic man? Like even I know that!

Oh wait, mom was referring to my other sister in college.Phew.

Well, about the Kyuubi thing. I�m not really sure I�d believe it�but remember about my alter ego? The one �confronted� dad when he cheated? Maybe it was the Kyuubi? One of my friends say I am weird. Was it the Kyuubi? I know I am a little weird, but I am a complex person. That�s what comes when your IQ is 131 and you have the attention span of a kumquat. When I was ten, I was already reading politics and discussing it, but I couldn�t find any ten-year olds that share my interests and I got laughed in class. I stink at singing, and I have no luck at all in lucky draws (except last week when I won a $5 shopping voucher). Above all, I feel fine. I do not feel like someone�s controlling my live�or do I? Well, above all, I don�t have feelings of recurrent amnesia like those possessed by demons(from stories I've heard). But don�t worry� the psychic said that he �d come to my house to �cleanse it�. Oh no, now I had to hide my porn.

Porn? Did I say porn? Oh, no, no, just naked baby pictures of me. Hah! Fooled ya! Girls on�t keep porn, darling. But there�s a chance of him seeing my manga artworks which have lots and lots of girl pictures�.(not that I liked girls, I actually can�t draw boys)�in�uncompromising positions��and I also have that manga tutorial which have step by step drawing of women�.in birthday suits�.eheheh�.well, I gotta learn manga somewhere�and oh yeah, that Love Hina comic my best friend gave me before graduating from high school (I wonder why it was always found in my brother�s bedroom)�.

And oh, yeah, all the evidences that I�ve collected about dad. Hope that psychic does�nt find out. And, oh! I kept thinking that my psychic is actually a thief trying to make off with my parent�s money. Like asking us to leave the house for cleansing..and then��cleaning� up all tha jewels in mom�s nightstand.

For now, he said he�ll come for cleansing if we prepare all the ritual stuffs: feather, soil water of seven soils�yadda�yadda�so I�ll have time to buy.

For what?

I think I�ll try and communicate with my Kyuubi.

And try to ask him to leave me and get another host.

Man, now I am starting to think that it existed!

Am I crazy?



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Monday, September 25, 2006

He�s my dad, after all�

Currently, it is 12 am, and I am doing my revision while watching Animax.
Frankly, that is all that I do now ever since I was subscribed to Animax.
Heheh.
Get straight to the point, well, mom wants to meet this psychic tomorrow,
and I was like, hell yeah, NO! cuz, well, I don�t like psychic. Especially
when mom kept telling us this one�s pretty good. He can see what other
(psychics) don�t. Duh�
You know, mom said that just to piss of dad. Cuz she believes that he was
smitten by some kind of black magic when he was in love with that girl. A
guy who has been to three universities and got his PhD couldn�t possibly
have an affair, right?
I plan to stay up all nite, sleep in class tomorrow, and slep some more
when mom goes to the psychic�s house. She doesn�t wanna go alone cuz, well,
he�s a psychic. And he�s been calling mom to ask :when are you gonna come?
It�s like there�s something in his mind�
Well, not the bad things (what Bad things?!?). I was thinking of something
like him telling all the intimate details of my secret agreement with dad by
just looking at my eyes (thus the plan to sleep away the psychic session).
Something like, �your daughter..she is hiding something from you.� And mom
will be like, staring at me and say in her scariest voice ever (that, I
never see for the last two months. Phew!) like, saying, �What is it�tell me
or I�ll�� and then I�ll either die, or tell all, or the psychic tells all
himself. (that�s why I hate psychic).
By the way, I need to figure out a combination of passwords that dad
might�ve used to make that email password I wrote about last week. Right
now, the login page of that email says �you have unsuccessfully login for
five times.�. I bet dad would�ve known it was me, hadn�t it been that he�s
in a fever and I accidentally busted his computer by virus-ing it (I heard
it�s fixed now).
About dad and his fever�well, that has been for a week now. Gone are the
days when he had to wake me up every morning. Now we just sleep the lecture
classes away (him because of fever, and me because of Animaxs and
revisions). Somehow�I felt sorry for dad. He looks pretty psyched-out and he
has a huge bag of prescriptions from the doctor (I mean huge, by the size of
an A4 paper bag) and he needs to eat that three times a day. Poor thing. And
after all my fightings and disrespect to him, I still feel sorry. Well, he
was my dad, after all. You can�t get away with that fact.

*Anyway, I just missed a really big interview last week, all cuz my firend
have no guts to tell me. I have a slight feeling that she didn't want me to
ruin her chances in that interview, cuz I did pretty good. That was the
first cry I had since I was a uni student.hahaha.

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Thursday, September 21, 2006

darn it! dad...

right now, I am trying to open dad's email account. Dad must be flipping if
he hears this. I plan to try and open it, and if I don't I'll just block it
out like his old account (man, I'm a pro at this). nayway, at this point I'm
halfway through blocking it up. Serves you right for making an alternate
email with the name of a fish!
Ive tried at least 50 password combiantions now, and it didn't work. darn
it! what does he store in it anyway...why the elaborate password?

Oh, wait, I didn't tell you how I got this email yet.

Well, dad was in a meeting two days before, and I was let into his office by
the nice secretary of his(I found out that she was the same age as dad.
Huh??!).

First, what do I do? Hm..drink the cola in his fridge, clipped all the paper
clips into a chain, put a virus (accidentally) into his computer, eats his
biscuits...well, you got the idea. Then I saw this printout on his (out)
rack. It says something about account information. it was sent to his
hotmail address (he printed out the WHOLE email) and in that very email
was the account ID and email adderss. the date of the email was december 22,
2005. Right after he was caught with mom and the big 'confrontation' late
the October.

So, I took it home. Short story.

Long story: I need to finish this password breaking first.
And oh, I tried to open the vault in his office too. Not working! But I
found out that the first two numbers are 33.

hehe...detective on the job again!

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Tuesday, September 19, 2006

The Bald Man Syndrome

"A man who is bald at the back of his head never knows that he is,
because he cannot see backwards, until someone told him so."
(means: A person who acts cool and thinks he's perfect; but that's just because he cannot see his imperfection. Yet.)

where did I get thet? Homer? Hemingway? Emerson?
No, myself.
While watching dad go to work one day.

Hm, I oughtta be a philosopher.

hope dad doesn't read this, though.
he'll know he's bald.

(p.s. Everything's fine now. but dad looks as if he has been dumped. Well, it seems so.)